Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
That strain in my chest is back. My mom was trying to tell me about the funeral and I blanked.
I need to enjoy the things that come my way and stop feeling like I don’t deserve them. But I know that I will always feel that way. There’s no reason for me to complain because really, what makes me different? I’m not more special than you, and you’re not more special than me. If there was ever a movie line I related to, it was “I hold myself in contempt.” I think I was ten years old and that shit has always stuck with me.
If I could hop in a van and go around the country I would do it in a fucking heartbeat so I could actually feel like I was doing something worthwhile.
